Self-Love: The Secret to Attracting (& Keeping) True Love

It’s my birthday week! So I’m giving myself the gift of a little blogging break. And since it also happens to be Valentine’s Day week, I’m giving YOU a gift too! Please welcome my colleague, Law of Attraction Love Coach Tanner Kennedy. Who better to talk to you about maintaining the health of your love life?


We are experiencing an epidemic.

Have you noticed over the last twenty years it seems so few relationships last? I can’t even count the number of people I know who have broken up in the last 6 months alone.

And they all have a common theme…they are characterized by chaos, confusion and disappointment.

I believe the reason so many relationships have crumbled in the last twenty years is because divorce and being single are now viable and accepted options. People are less likely to stay in unfulfilling relationships just because it’s the “right” thing to do.

People are ending unfulfilling relationships at an alarming rate. This also shows people have been creating unfulfilling relationships at an alarming rate.

Unfortunately, the trend in unfulfilling relationships doesn’t help solve one of our core fundamental needs as a human ~ to love unconditionally and be loved unconditionally. And, not just by your parents and friends, but by a partner on an intimate level.

We are the product of broken homes or, sometimes, even worse, the product of parents who stayed together in the absence of love.

And this creates more and more people who want to experience true love but won’t risk their hearts to find it.


Because we were raised to believe love doesn’t really work, so we run from the prospect of it.

But this only leaves us with feelings of helpless frustration because we still have the yearning deep down inside to experience the feeling of unconditional love. 

It makes us wonder if there is a solution to create a lasting fulfilling relationship.


We think the answer to true love is external, when in reality, we have had it all along. It is inside of us.

The solution is Self-Love.

Many of us look for someone or something to fulfill us, to make us whole.

I did it for years. I thought if I can get into a relationship then I can start the life I have always wanted. Instead, what I got was extremely unfulfilling; a string of men who would never commit. The exact opposite of what I truly desired.

What I eventually learned was the only way to be fulfilled is to learn to love yourself unconditionally.

Based on the principles of the Law of Attraction, you attract people who reflect who you truly believe you are on the inside.

When you have the capacity to love yourself unconditionally, you will then attract a person who reflects what you believe: that you are worthy of unconditional love.

That is true love, the kind that lasts. Not the pretend kind of love that looks to another for fulfillment.


To show you how learning to love yourself unconditionally works, I want to share this true life example.

I started working with a client who had been seeing this man off and on for over a year, but he would never commit.

There was definitely a strong connection between them, but he would never move forward with the relationship.

She was dumbfounded as to why. I was not. I not only experienced this myself, but had seen it so many times in others.

They were perfect reflections of each other. They both had commitment issues. They just came out in different ways.

I worked with her to help her love herself unconditionally.

As soon as she started working on herself and making some changes, she suddenly started to notice a change in his behavior. It was like a miracle was happening right before her eyes. He started slowly moving the relationship forward.

The more she worked on herself, the more he became invested in her and a possible relationship.

Since their energy was tied, by her working on herself, she energetically helped him work on himself.

It’s a true example of how the Law of Attraction works in relationships.

If you are currently in a relationship and it’s not going as you would like, try focusing on loving yourself as much as possible and see what happens.

And, if you aren’t in a relationship, focus on loving yourself and you will start the process of attracting a person who loves themselves as well.

Share in the comments below how you have learned to love yourself unconditionally. Sharing your tips and techniques will only help you and others attract amazing love into your life.

To Creating the Love Life You Desire,


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Coach TannerTanner Kennedy is a Law of Attraction Love Coach. Her mission is to help women create the love life they desire by using the theory of the law of attraction along with a healthy dose of self-love. She is currently working on an online program for people who have ended a relationship and lost their “joy”. This self-paced program teaches you how to get back to yourself, discover your inner joy and build a rock-solid foundation to create long-lasting love in the future. If you would like more information on this program or techniques to help you on your path to unconditional self-love, sign up for Tanner’s newsletter. Tanner lives in Charleston, SC, where she enjoys the being surrounding by the beautiful natural setting and the warm weather.


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11 thoughts on “Self-Love: The Secret to Attracting (& Keeping) True Love

  1. Pingback: Self-Love: The Secret to Attracting (& Keeping) True Love - Live 4 The Moment | Live 4 The Moment

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  7. Thanks for this great reminder. I’ve been happily married for 12 years, but self-care is still important for true happiness. We both get along better when we work on ourselves first. 🙂

  8. Great insight. One of my grandmothers gave me this advice when I was in my teens and in a tough relationship: “Don’t marry (date) someone expecting to change them!” I was expecting my boyfriend at the time to change to be what I needed and he was expecting me to change to fit his ideas, but neither one of us were focusing on ourselves.

  9. Great words, great insight! It is so sad to see how common it is for people to place blame on their partners for their own dissatisfactions. I believe they are missing the boat. A partner is someone to share life with, not someone who is responsible for the other’s happiness and well-being. You are spot on when you talk about self-love. We have to nurture ourselves and focus on our growth to even begin to have anything to offer someone else. We have control over our own growth, and like your example, usually when we work on our own growth, our partner will follow suite. Thank you for sharing this wisdom!

    • Thanks Cathy! So many people just don’t realize that it is as simple as working on ourselves to being to attract a great partner.

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