You’re tired all the time and lack the motivation to do anything more than lament your frustration with your body. This is a sign that you need a boost of vitamin Brag.
The other day I was tooting my own horn to my Guest List and it got me thinking.
Why is it that we women are taught to look pretty and keep our mouths shut, like a Victorian child?
We’re taught to give constantly. Part of our nature, certainly, but it seems that’s all we’re supposed to do.
I see so much self-doubt and low self-worth and depleted self-love in my office. It underlies so much of what ails us as women.
You give to the point of exhaustion. You’ve drained your reserves and you’ve got nothing left. And still, you’re afraid to make your own needs a priority.
You fill yourself with wine and cookies and so you lack nutrients as well as emotional sustenance.
When I was in grade 8, the most derisive thing my gang commonly said was, “She’s so conceited!” In hindsight, we said this about girls who were confident and assured in their greatness, yet we saw it as a bad thing.
Having dinner with these friends last week, I listened to how some of them are still compromising their own well-being – consciously understanding it’s taking a toll on them physically to stay in a loveless marriage or to tolerate the weight of caring for a senile parent – yet reluctant to put themselves first.
My clients are the same. So locked into being the one to give, they’re terrified to even ask for what they need. Afraid to alienate or anger their loved ones. Afraid of rocking the boat.
It’s not surprising that poor thyroid function predominates the female landscape: of the one in 10 North Americans with issues, women are affected up to 8 times more than men.
This gland that regulates your metabolism, that determines your energy levels, controls your ability to express yourself as well. It sits right by your voice box, and as part of the 5th chakra, functions under the energetic role of your Voice.
Shaped like a butterfly, it’s your ability to express your beauty and soar.
My point is that our inability to speak up and shine has become physiological.
Thank the goddess there’s a movement to change all that.
Look around at thought leaders in any field. Diet, exercise, money, business, marketing, parenting, web development, travel agents: everyone’s getting in on the authenticity bandwagon. It’s all about speaking your truth, showing up as you are, getting to know yourself deeply and letting your inner light shine. (Yes, I’m in there too.)
Being able to love and honour who you are is key to your success in any part of your life. Your health included.
Yet after years of putting yourself in the backseat, of feeding and pleasing everyone else first, it’s become so deeply ingrained in your psyche that making the shift isn’t that easy.
You know what you need to do, but you just can’t step up and do it.
I’m a strong believer in the fact that we can access the nutrients we need for vibrant health from the food we eat. Not from the calorie-rich-nutrient-poor choices of a processed/fast food diet, but from whole food, real food.
Sometimes, though, a certain condition or an extreme lack means you need to supplement. Not necessarily for the long-term, but certainly to get you over the hump and back on track.
I propose supplemental bragging.
In the same way your thyroid may need extra iodine or B-vitamins, I’m suggesting your self-worth and motivation need a boost of vitamin Brag.
You may have already jumped into a gratitude practice – an excellent way to open your heart to the riches that are all around you, to acknowledge the subtle nourishment you receive daily. So important when our tendency is to always look for more.
In openly sharing a goal you reached or praise you received, even a picture of the cake you baked, you acknowledge the value you offer daily.
- You get to speak the words that others don’t always remember to speak on your behalf.
- You feed your sense of satisfaction rather than blowing it off and moving on to the 12 things you didn’t do today.
- You enrich your motivation by filling your own cup first.
- You replenish your reserves so you’re giving from the overflow…saving your energy for preparing a beautiful meal or planning that trip to Italy.
Start today. Make a call, tell your family at dinner, post it in the comments: Why are you proud of you today? And how does it feel saying it out loud? When you share your wins you open the possibilities for others.
I’ll go first: I am tickled pink to be included in a part of a series called “Women and Wisdom” and yes, I’ll say it, I’m most pleased to be publicly recognized for the fact that wisdom is indeed what I share every day in my office. It feels awkward to write those words, but it also makes me want to laugh – loosen the stricture in my throat that’s trying desperately to keep them to myself.
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